


fxxx the police

by smellchanel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Swearing, and they were ROOMMATES, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:08:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23793619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smellchanel/pseuds/smellchanel
Summary: in which Kuroo's music taste drives Tsukishima crazy
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	fxxx the police

Tsukishima was staring blankly at his phone as he waited for Yamaguchi to show up at the train station. He was finally leaving for Tokyo to start his studies and Yamaguchi insisted on seeing him off. Kei already met him yesterday to say goodbye as he didn’t want an embarrassing farewell from his friend nor his parents, but when Yamaguchi threaten to overnight at the station he finally told him when his train was departing. However, he made it clear, that he didn’t want to see anybody else besides Yamaguchi. Fortunately, Yamaguchi was a reliable friend. He came alone and although he tried not to make it too emotional, he couldn’t resist hugging Tsukishima when he was about to get on the train. Kei sighed loudly, pretending to be mad, but he gently patted Yamaguchi’s back.

'Tsukki…' he looked at the taller man with tears in his eyes.

'Jeez. I told you not to come.' Kei tried to sound annoyed. 'It’s not like I’m dying.' he hummed and stepped back.

'Tsukki…' Yamaguchi’s glance became persistent.

'Fine. I’ll text you.' he said and left his childhood friend behind. 

Tadashi was now waving goodbye to him. Tsukishima casually smiled and waved back. He didn’t want to admit it, but he would miss Yamaguchi and he was genuinely happy that he insisted on seeing him off.

***

Kei was standing in his new flat. The bag still in his hands. The door to the house was open. He knocked a few times, but no one responded, so he decided to just come in. Really loud music hit him, so it wasn’t a surprise that his roommate didn’t hear his knocking. However, he felt very strange at the moment and when a raspy voice started screaming the lyrics he lost it.

_fuck the police fuck fuck the police_   
_’m going out to the shop i see a bitch_   
_what the fuck is going on_   
_fuck me this bitch is standing at the bottom of the staircase_   
_what the fuck is going on she’s fucking your mother_   
_shit fuck me_   
_i got drunk i got blazed_   
_you look like a cunt, fuck the police_   
_we respect the rule -fuck the police_   
_getting drunk again you whore_   
_cops are chasing us ‘cause we smoke weed_   
_we’re getting the fuck outta here -they can’t catch us_

Kei was standing in his new flat. The bag now on the floor. He was too embarrassed to move, his face became the color of beetroot. Maybe he should run away and come back later. Or should he let his roommate know, that he’s already here? He didn’t have much time to think about it since quite tall man left his room while bouncing to the beat. At first, he didn’t see Tsukishima, because he was too busy humming the song, but eventually, he spotted a stranger in his living room and he almost jumped in surprise. After a few seconds of uncomfortable almost silence _‘thank god for a blast of good music’_ Tsukishima thought, he pointed at Kei.

‘Ah. You must be my new roommate.’ He smiled, showing his perfect teeth. ‘I’m Kuroo Tetsurou.’ he seemed unbothered by this situation, opposite to Tsukishima, who looked rather flustered.

'Tsukishima Kei.' he murmured.

'Huh? Tsukki?' Kuroo asked not being able to hear his words.

'Tsukishima.' he repeated.

'Okay then Tsukki. I'll show you your room.' he took Tsukishima's bag and led him to a bedroom which was located vis-a-vis Kuroo's room. He quickly sent a message to Yamaguchi and followed Kuroo. Kei could only pray that Kuroo wouldn't listen to that kind of music so loud since he wasn't living alone now.

**to:** Yamaguchi Tadashi   
_help_

_***_

Well, Tsukishima wasn't religious, so no wonders why his prayers didn't work. The following day another glorious song welcomed him when he came back from university.

_we're getting the fuck out from police_   
_we're scraping the bucket bong_   
_fuck the police_   
_we fire up a blunt_   
_fuck you in the ass you fucking rollers_   
_you carry a baton you look like a fag_   
_fuck you in the ass you fucking rollers_   
_cops are after me_

Kei sighed and went to the kitchen where he met Kuroo sitting at the table and drinking coffee.

'Can't you listen to normal music?' Kuroo almost dropped his coffee when Tsukishima spoke. They hadn't talked much yesterday since Kei was too embarrassed and Kuroo got the impression that he wasn't in the mood for any chatting.

'What do you mean _normal music_?' Tetsurou looked straight into his eyes and Tsukishima gulped. Kuroo's glance was piercing, but he wasn't afraid.

'Something other than songs which lyrics are limited to _fuck the police_ , _we smoke weed_ , _fuck the police_ , _let's get drunk_ and... oh! _fuck the police_.' he snarked.

'Oh. I'm sorry I didn't take you as such a prude.' he laughed.

'What are you a deliquent?'

'You gonna snitch on me?' Kuroo stood up and came closer to Tsukishima. He lowered his voice and his expression became more serious. After a few seconds he burst into laughter. 'Sorry. I'll try to turn the volume down next time.'

***

Since then Tsukishima started to act more cautious. He didn't want to judge a book by its covers but after Kuroo's words he thought that Kuroo, in fact, might be a delinquent. He wasn't as tall as Kei, but his height was still impressive. Kuroo's black hair was always messy, his hands wrapped in bandages also he usually wore a red tracksuit. In conclusion, Kuroo looked like he was always ready to start a fight. But Tsukishima might just overthought it.

Although Kuroo promised to not listen to his favorite type of music that loud, because of thin walls Tsukishima could hear it anyway.

_911 this number means trouble_   
_when an incident is happening, there is always an informer_   
_they call 911 and sell everyone_   
_those whores are showing up motherfucking bitches_   
_trash, fucking pieces of shit_

Tetsurou got scared when Tsukishima suddenly walked in on him. He looked stoic, but Kuroo could feel a furious aura around him.

'Kuroo-san what is so appealing about fucking police? Is this a kink of yours?' he asked with his usual poker face. Kuroo almost fell from his chair.

'W-what?' he got really flustered. 'Of course not.'

'Then why do you always listen to these songs?'

'It helps me to release my negative feelings after a volleyball practice.' he answered, unsure. 'I'm sorry. I didn't know it makes you uncomfortable. I will listen to something else from now on. How about ABBA? You okay with that?' Kuroo started babbling.

'Don't you have headphones?'

'I broke them.' he said with a small voice. 'Please don't hate me and try to get along with me.'

The next day Tsukishima bought new headphones for Kuroo.

***

Kei came back to his flat after grocery shopping. He left everything in the kitchen and sat next to Kuroo in the living room.

'What is a police uniform doing in our laundry basket? Kuroo asked calmly.

'Well, I'm planning to do the laundry, so I put it in there.'

'Wait. Did you buy it so you could subtly ask me to fuck you?' Tsukishima's heart lurched. _What the fuck?_ In two seconds Kei was laughing on the floor.

'So it is really your kink.' he managed to say after some time. Tetsurou's face looked hilarious.

'And what about it? I always appreciate a good looking man in a uniform and you're handsome and tall as fuck.' he muttered.

'I'm studying at the police academy.' Tsukishima explained.

'Oh.' Kuroo got red. He remembered all times when he sang and screamed those songs. Now it was clear why his roommate hated it. 'Soo, Tsukki... Are you going to arrest me for assaulting a police officer?' Tetsurou smiled slyly.

**Author's Note:**

> i might write a second part with more kurotsuki content soon


End file.
